So Many Funerals

by Maynard and the Musties

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[From the cd packaging]: Players on this album: Joe Maynard lead vocals, acoustic guitar; Naa Koshie Mills, violin; Mo Botton, lead guitar; Dennis Shealy, bass; Jim Thomas, drums. Ryan Adams plays piano and lapsteel on "Elvis Museum." All songs written by Joe Maynard and arranged by Maynard and the Musties, except "Shallow Water Warning," lyrics by Helen Adam and put to tune by Joe Maynard. Engineered and produced on the fly by Chris Abell at Dubway Studios, NYC. Ryan Adams was the uber producer and decider on "Rocky & Bessie" (thanks fer makin' us feel like stars, Ryan!). It was so fun making this record... shucks... Thanks Chris and the folks at Dubway... thanks Russ [Titelman] for turning us on to Dubway. Thanks everybody in the world (but only if you like this record). Above all, thanks to one big, lovable galoot no longer in this world... you know who you are... miss you buddy.


released June 17, 2009



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Maynard and the Musties Nashville, Tennessee


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Track Name: Pine Box
just sittin' in my pine box
watching everyone walk by
sittin' in my pine box watchin' everyone walk by
there's a widow and a preacher saying I'm at Jesus' side

Somedays you live other days you die
somedays you laugh, other days you cry
just sittin' in my pine box watchin' everyone walk by
Track Name: Cowboy of St Bartholomew
Well I know this bro named Cowboy Mo
he lived down on the street below
seems he got a hold of my whole heart through
he's ugly as sin and beneath his grin
he's dartin' his eyes and lickin' his chin
& he know's I'll be comin' by again

Now I fell in love with him
& we live outside this church that lets us in
we kiss before the priests of St Bartholomew
& I never felt excitement til my ass touched that church pew

we kiss in line for soup sometimes
huddle under the blanket sipping' wine
Mo holds out his arm and bums a dime
I'm never going home again
Mo and the street are my best friends
Hope momma knows I'm coin' fine

cuz I fell in love with him in that soup line
& hold his hand while he spare-changes dimes
I'm his and for what it's worth he's mine
& Saint Bartholomew is our idea of a swinging time
Track Name: Elvis Museum
on a road going down to the outskirts of town
there's a lady with an elvis museum
billboard towers over her airstream trailer
& she's sittin' in her yard, behind a card table

hey lady, can i see what you got
take a checklist son, there's quite a lot
she's learned devotion to the king
now i know true worship can be most anything

sun records signed and framed on the wall
between a sink full of dishes and a toilet stall
rhinestone sunglasses in a plexiglass box
a grocery list sittin' on the king's sweat cloth

hey lady, I like what I saw
thanks for the checklist and that psychic guffaw
devotion like yours is rarely seen
now I know true worship can be most anything

up her in new york city
down in the nitty-gritty alley behind the broadway theatre
lived a cult of homeless people
who lived to catch a glimpse of
the stars while they're eating their meals

autograph collections in their cardboard beds
the flies and the famous buzzing around their heads
they've learned devotion to the seen
now i know true worship can be most anything
Track Name: Ballad of Rocky and Bessie
bessie oh bessie
you're the one for me
ever since i seen you pissin' on that
smashed up TV
there'll come a day
we'll never part
they can dump a million buckets of cold water on us
& we'll stay stuck in the park

followed you around the corner
sniffed the puddles you left behind
you were pet by many strangers
made the world seem almost kind
bessie oh bessie, it's plain to see
your searching for a home has lead you to the likes of me

so let's chew this wing-tipped shoe
even chase a cat or two
just the smell of your flea powder
makes my heart pump a little harder
bessie oh bessie, you're the bitch i love
ever since your masters turned to alcohol and drugs

now you're gone and sadness fills me
solitude is bound to kill me
my lonely walks around the street
only solidifies my grief
bessie oh bessie, you were my one true love
'til the ASPCA pumped you with lethal drugs
Track Name: You Think I'm Crazy
you think I'm crazy while you watch the world go by
so said you fell for a glint in my eye
well I'm here to tell you you don't have to worry cuz
I'll be OK for the rest of my life

Your good intentions...
Track Name: Shallow Water Warning
My love was walking in the sun
Beyond a golden meadow.
She led me where the ripples run
I thought the water shallow
Reflecting only summer sky
So light the chains that bound me,
So like a god on earth was I
Before my darling drowned me...
Track Name: Dear Addict
Fall asleep, dear addict
fall asleep dear addict
and one of these times
you'll wake up for the last time
walking on a street of gold

I remember when we met in your bed
was so lovely, I went straight to your head
and we said hello to Jesus
and followed on a street of gold

No lover can give more than me
no mother forgives quite like me
no father can give you the promised land
not even these sweet, sweet dreams.
Track Name: Redneck Girl
I don't remember... for some reason we don't play this any more & the lyrics have vanished... but you can listen...

white t-shirt & a smooth tan
do something inside this city man...
Track Name: Your Heart's No Longer Mine
There's a minor chord I love to strum
but I can never reach those strings
seems I'm out of luck or lack the touch
to keep your heart with me
Everyday I think of you with lovin' on my mind
but every night I feel you leaving my love behind

Your heart's out a walkin' even while we're talkin'
your eyes are gazing somewhere out of time
wish I could reach the note that touches you where it means the most
but your heart's no longer mine

Darling I've been thinking I'm just draggin' you down
you're up there floating in a cloud & I'm stuck here on the ground
don't wanna be no ball & chain, I'm just a little too proud
so think of me from time to time & look me up when you come down